Can You Spot A Narcissist Before They Show Their True Colors?
Narcissists tend to be hidden under many layers of masks. As such, it's not always easy to recognize one until you're in too deep. They can come across as charming, charismatic, and even generous, but underneath, they're harboring deep-seated insecurities, envy, and a pattern of manipulative behavior. To help you recognize the signs before getting hurt, here are 20 subtle signs someone might be a narcissist.
1. Envy & Jealousy
Although they present themselves with an air of confidence, narcissists often harbor deep insecurities that manifest themselves in feelings of envy and jealousy. They have trouble genuinely being happy for other people's success.
2. Lack Of True Empathy
Because they're always thinking about themselves, narcissists have trouble showing true empathy. They might pretend to show compassion, but it's usually only to benefit them somehow.
3. Love Bombing
Narcissists are notorious love bombers. They shower you with love at the beginning of a relationship to manipulate and control you.
4. Backhanded Compliments
Next time they say something nice to you, pay close attention. Their compliments rarely come without a caveat in the form of a subtle backhanded jab aimed at undermining your self-esteem so they can continue to feel superior.
5. Monopolizing Conversations
For someone who's a narcissist, any moment not talking about themselves is a bore. They somehow manage to always turn the conversation back onto themselves.
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6. Fishing For Compliments
Narcissists have the bad habit of fishing for praise, subtly prompting you to stoke their ego. It comes from their deep-seated need for admiration, which further stems from their well-masked insecurities.
7. Using Flattery For Personal Gain
You may find your narcissistic friend or partner is very good at making others feel good, which may make you doubt that they're indeed narcissistic. However, they likely only do this for personal gain. Look at the big picture.
8. They Embellish Stories
All of us embellish stories from time to time, but narcissists take it to the extreme. They'll change the facts always to make themselves look more impressive.
9. They're Image Obsessed
Narcissists' sense of superiority makes them obsessed with their image. They have a specific, grandiose version of themselves that they want to make sure everyone else sees, too.
10. Never Admitting Fault
Whether in their personal or professional relationships, narcissists have trouble admitting when they're at fault. They deflect blame onto others to save their own skin.
11. Gift-Giving With Strings Attached
Your narcissistic friend may come off as generous, but don't be fooled. They never give without expecting something in return.
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12. Boundary Pushing
Narcissists are so self-centered, they have trouble respecting other people's boundaries. They may intrude on personal space or ignore consent.
13. They Turn Everything Into A Competition
Narcissists are often highly competitive, and while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, it can turn every interaction into a subtle competition, even if no one else is playing the game. This stems from their need to maintain a sense of superiority.
14. They Believe They're Destined For Greatness
Narcissists often believe themselves to be incredibly special. They have fantasies about boundless success and believe they deserve special treatment.
15. They Use The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is more likely to be used by people with low self-esteem. Narcissists fall into this category, despite presenting themselves as confident. They'll use the silent treatment as a control mechanism and to avoid conflict.
16. Performative Listening
Narcissists don't tend to be great active listeners unless the conversation is about them. They will, however, pretend to be listening with lots of nods and "Uh-huhs", so make sure to ask them questions to check whether they were or not.
17. They're Entitled
Narcissists are entitled because they believe they deserve special treatment. Their entitlement also stems from their need for validation and their lack of empathy.
18. They Have Difficulty Accepting Criticism
For narcissists who have a flawless view of themselves, accepting criticism, even if it's constructive, can be impossible. Their fear of imperfection and fragile ego makes it feel like a personal attack.
19. They're A Pathological Liar
Narcissists are compulsive liars who use their dishonesty to shift the blame or inflate their image. They'll even sometimes convince themselves of their lie.
20. One-Upping
Narcissists are notorious one-uppers because they always need to be superior. Their story always has to be the best, even when it's not appropriate for them to be sharing.
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