Growing Pains
Are you the same person you were five years ago? What about 10 years ago? Probably not, right? In fact, you're likely evolving and changing in subtle ways every year, even if you don't notice it immediately. But when you do, outgrowing an older version of yourself can feel scary, and unsettling. You might, for example, realize that the goals and passions you once had no longer excite or interest you. If you've been seeing these small shifts in your habits or mindset, here are 10 signs you might be outgrowing your past self—and 10 ways to embrace the transformation.
1. Old Goals No Longer Inspire You
Remember what used to motivate you? Maybe it was advancing in your field, getting that coveted promotion, or being the person everyone admired at work. But now, as you're slowly outgrowing that version of yourself, the things you used to chase no longer feel inspiring or exciting.
2. You've Lost Interest in Old Hobbies
It isn't just that you've lost interest in the goals you once had—you no longer care about the hobbies you used to love, too. In fact, you can't even remember why you liked them in the first place, and you've since discovered new interests that you're more passionate about.
3. Certain Relationships Feel Draining
If the friends you've stuck with for so many years suddenly feel draining to be around, it might be a sign that you're outgrowing your past self, too. Maybe your interests, personalities, and lifestyles just don't align anymore, and it feels like you're forcing something to continue when it should've ended a long time ago.
4. You Feel Restless
Sometimes, outgrowing an older version of yourself can make you feel restless. You might have all this energy and the "itch" to do something different—only to not know what it is you need to do. Oftentimes, it can feel like you're stuck in a never-ending loop, and that something is "wrong" or missing.
5. You Crave Things You Didn't Before
Whether it's your restless energy or something else, you might crave things you never used to care for. You may want to pursue completely different goals that your old self would've never thought of chasing, or introduce new things in your life, even though you disliked change in the past.
6. You've Made New Friends
Because you feel like you've outgrown the friends your past self used to hang out with all the time, you've since made new friendships who you feel align more closely with the current version of you. In fact, you may have ever met them through pursuing new goals and hobbies.
7. You Can No Longer Understand Your Past Self
Another clear sign that you're outgrowing your past self is that you no longer understand the life you used to live. You wonder why you acted the way you did, made the decisions you did, and chose to be around the people you were with. Nothing that your old self did makes sense to you anymore.
8. You're Scared But Excited About Change
Change excites you, but it also scares you. Even though you might feel this push to try out new things, meet new people, and readjust your routines, you still have this inkling of doubt that pulls you back, makes you feel anxious to branch out too much. This feeling of uncertainty is another sign that your perspectives are slowly shifting, and that can sometimes feel alarming.
9. You Feel Inspired to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
And yet, you still feel inspired to continue challenging yourself and putting yourself out there. That restless energy you have has to go somewhere, after all, and it can nudge you to step outside your comfort zone and try things you never once thought of doing.
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10. You Daydream About a Different Life
You're not just confused about the life your past self lived or the one you still feel stuck in—you actively daydream about an entirely different life altogether. You might crave adventure when you've lived years feeling isolated, or want to spend more time alone after having explored too much, too young.
If these signs sound like you, we get that it can feel uncomfortable. Any change in our regular routines can feel disconcerting. To help you feel more equipped and ready to deal with this phase, here are 10 ways to embrace change—not push it away.
1. Find What Inspires You Now
As soon as you realize that you're starting to outgrow your past self, it's important to ask yourself: "What inspires me now?" This will help you better understand your new goals and passions, and you can find ways to adjust or align your lifestyle to fit these new needs and curiosities.
2. Say Goodbye to Things That No Longer Serve You
You don't need to immediately push them out if you're not ready yet, but if certain things are no longer serving you the way they used to, then it's time to let them go. Friendships, for example, might feel effortless one day and forced the next. If certain relationships or connections start feeling too toxic to keep, say goodbye.
3. Create Space for New Things
As you let go of the things that don't serve you anymore, make sure to leave the door open for new goals, hobbies, friendships, and opportunities that do fit into your new lifestyle and align better with your current goals and self. Don't close yourself off just because this transition phase makes you feel doubtful or off.
4. Journal Your Growth & Journey
Journaling can be a great way to jot down all your thoughts, feelings, and uncertainties. As you go through this uncomfortable phase in your life, writing it out can help you better document your growth and journey, and make your head feel less cluttered.
5. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Just as you should let go of toxic relationships and friendships, it's also important to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. They'll help make you feel less alone during this transition, and can encourage you to continue discovering new sides of yourself.
6. Forgive Your Past Self
Just because you don't align with your past self anymore doesn't mean that you were living "wrong." It just means you've outgrown that version of yourself, and that you've since found other things that excite and inspire you. Instead of disapproving your past actions, opinions, or decisions, understand that that was you then, and this is you now.
7. Reflect
It's also helpful to reflect on your past goals, interests, and motivations, as they'll give you better insight into how much your perspective has shifted, and how you'll need to realign your routine and mindset. Plus, reflecting often allows you to see your journey and growth.
8. Follow Your Curiosity
Remember to always follow your curiosity. Find what excites, inspires, and motivates you, then follow where your new passions take you. If you continue to box yourself inside the routines that don't serve you anymore, you'll only feel more discouraged and restless.
9. Be Patient with Yourself
Wherever your new curiosities take you, and however long you'll need to get used to this newer version of yourself, remember to stay patient and give yourself ample time to explore and grow. Don't rush things, and don't make yourself feel bad for craving change.
10. Go with the Flow
This transition phase, as we've already mentioned, can feel unsettling and uncomfortable, but if there's one piece of advice that can help you better embrace change, it's to just go with the flow. Own your transformation, and give yourself permission to grow and expand. You don't owe anyone an explanation for evolving into a newer version of yourself.
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