The Art Of Likability
Emotional intelligence and likability will take you further in life than any other skill. In fact, people are more often promoted based on likability rather than actual skill or performance. This may feel unfair, but it’s just the name of the game, and you can take advantage too by coming across as more relatable and admirable. Here are 20 psychology secrets you can use to your advantage to make people like you more.
1. Active Listening
People like being around people who make them feel good about themselves. So instead of trying to take up all the conversation and talk about yourself, sing the praises of others. Listen to people when they talk, engage with them, and make them feel good. They’ll associate being around you with happiness and will be eager to stay close.
2. Surround Yourself With Other People
The more people around you, the more likable you seem. That’s what popularity means after all, it refers to how many friends you have and how many people respect and admire you. To that end, make lots of friends and show people how easy you are to connect with. In fact, that’s also why a lot of people end up buying fake followers or boosting their numbers on social media to seem likable.
3. Share A Secret
People love having an inside scoop. Self-disclosure is an effective way to build a relationship. So, share a secret, even if it isn’t that big of a deal. You could even make it seem more important than it is. Either way, sharing an intimate secret will make people feel closer to you.
4. Be Attractive
Okay, this one isn’t as cut and dry as it looks. You don’t have to be a supermodel to take advantage of this one. But doing things like taking care of your hygiene, dressing well, and putting some time into your appearance makes you more likable. The reality is that people like those who are physically appealing. But remember, an attractive outside with an unattractive personality won’t do you much good.
5. Disagree Amicably
Disagreements happen, and you don’t want to appear like you go along with everything. You should never disagree just to prove superiority over someone else. Instead, you should do it when you think you have a better alternative. It’s even better if you can frame it like you’re building on their idea rather than rejecting them.
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6. Reciprocate
When people do something nice for you, always reciprocate. It’s not about keeping score, and you shouldn’t expect anything in return, but simple reciprocation makes you way more likable. Besides, people will be eager to do more nice things for you as they associate it with a coming reward, even if that isn’t always the reality.
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7. Appear Successful
You know that saying, fake it till you make it? Well, turns out it’s true. People like those who appear successful, even if that isn’t the reality. So, talk about your education, brag about your employment, and have the confidence to talk positively about your accomplishments. The goal isn’t to become a narcissist, but to be proud of yourself and be interesting.
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8. Trust Others
An interesting thing happens when you trust people: they feel the urge to reciprocate. That’s why when someone’s trying to get another to spill the secret, they’ll start by telling them a secret of their own. Self-disclosure makes people see you as emotionally open and trustworthy.
9. Get Social
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but being social makes you far more likable. People will see it as you being high in demand and will assume you have a lot going on. This makes you far more interesting in their eyes, and they’ll be eager to hang out too.
10. Copy The Person
Sinking into more technical psychology tips, try copying the person you’re with. The exact term is mirroring, and it involves subtly mimicking the other person’s behaviors. Copy their hand gestures, sit the way they sit, and reflect their emotions back to them.
11. Give Compliments
This may seem like another no-brainer, but people like to be complimented. Just be sure not to come across as creepy and be intentional about the compliments you give. For instance, don’t make an off-handed remark about someone’s shoes. Instead, after a meeting, praise their presentation skills.
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12. Spontaneous Trait Transference
In fact, giving compliments has more perks than you may realize. It turns out the words you use to describe other people are words they will then associate with you. It’s a phenomenon known as spontaneous trait transference, and it can help you appear more likable and positive to others. If you tell them they’re so trustworthy and intelligent, they’re going to think the same about you.
13. A Beacon Of Positivity
People like hanging around those who make them feel good about themselves. Positive people tend to boost the moods of others, and simply being around someone happy will make others happy due to natural emotional mimicry. So continue to be a beacon of positivity, and others will flock to be around you.
14. Casually Touch Them
Of course, you don’t want to touch anyone without their permission. But if you’ve established a friendly rapport with people, don’t be afraid to test out a casual touch. For instance, men tend to have a higher success rate talking with women when they lightly touch their arm. Similarly, an interpersonal shake of the hand or a brief touch on the hand can help convey warmth and friendliness.
15. Make Time For People
In today’s world, it’s very common for people to only make time for others when it’s convenient. It’s like your friends are never there when you need them, but expect you to return the favor. Well, simply making time for others and prioritizing them can make them feel super special. Then the natural urge to reciprocate will take over, and this may boost their desire to get closer to you.
16. Reveal Your Flaws
Humility also goes a long way when it comes to likability. Usually, people tell you not to bring attention to your weaknesses, but that’s just not the case. In fact, revealing your flaws from time to time can make you appear vulnerable and relatable.
17. Perceive Them As They Want
People have these images of them in their minds, and it can be a bit shocking when they realize people don’t perceive them as they think. On the flip side, people love it when their image of themselves lines up with reality. So, you should see people as they want to be perceived. If someone thinks they’re super funny, laugh at their jokes. If someone thinks they have impeccable fashion taste, compliment their outfits.
18. Be Competent
You’ll also want to be competent to a degree! Even if you’re not an expert or something, don’t ever sell yourself short. Don’t be afraid to name-drop your education or high socioeconomic status; after all, you’ve worked for it. People like those who appear smart and will be more inclined to respect you.
19. Smile
It may be annoying when the whole world tells you to smile, but it’s an effective strategy nonetheless. In fact, it was revealed that people tend to gravitate toward photos of people who are smiling. This conveys positivity, and it turns out that if you smile when you meet someone, they’re more likely to remember you later.
20. Let Them Talk
Sometimes being likable is as easy as doing literally nothing. Just sit there and let the person talk about themselves on end. The more they talk about themselves, the more positive the interaction will feel, and the more they’ll want to do it again. But the catch is that you actually have to engage with them. Don’t just end the conversation with “Oh, okay.” But instead, engage and give some thoughts on their topic of choice.
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