Become Irresistible
While there’s no one true secret to making people fall in love, there are certainly habits and traits you can use to become more likable. After all, charisma isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you can learn. With that in mind, these are 20 things that the most charismatic people do to make others fall in love. Do you have any other tips we missed on this list?
1. Talk About Them
Talk to them about themselves; people love to talk about themselves. Ask questions that make them feel that you want to hear their stories, their opinions, their feelings. By doing this you make them feel wanted and special around you.
2. Love What They Love
Talk about things they want to discuss. This means you have to find out what they love, whether it's their favorite TV shows or their hobbies. People who are open and caring about other people's inner world will get close in their minds without even noticing. You also make them feel like you actually care about their interests and are willing to devote some of your time to their passions.
3. Creative Compliments
Notice what a person is bragging about, or that they clearly have put a lot of effort into, their clothes, their makeup, their performance, and compliment them in a way that is related to that particular detail. This communicates that you are a keen observer and that you value them for who they wish to be seen as. Quiet, well-placed compliments like this build a strong feeling of being seen and adored, which increases emotional attraction.
4. Copy Them
Copy them slightly in an understated manner by mirroring their posture, gestures, and even their tone of voice. This subconsciously establishes familiarity and rapport. When someone feels "in sync" with you, they tend to be more at ease and feel understood.
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5. Be Curious
When you disagree with someone or when they share an opinion that goes against your own beliefs, it can be easy to get defensive. However, instead of judging them, whether it be for an opinion, hobby, or even their favorite food, you should instead be curious. Ask them questions and make an active effort to understand them instead, which in turn makes them feel heard and valued.
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6. Make Them Feel Heard
Make people feel special. Listen to them, pay attention, be interested in what they have to say, remember things about them, and check in later. This is called social validation, and it's a big part of showing that you value people, and that you value them in your life.
7. Use Their Name
We all have a unique reaction to hearing our name. It lights up the reward center of our brain and makes our conversations seem more personal, relevant, and genuine. Names are like our personal calling card. The more you can work in other people’s names as you talk to them, the more human and connected the conversation will feel.
8. Remember Their Points
If a person you are speaking to mentions a small but significant detail, bring it up at a later time. This proves that you were listening, that you remember what was said, and that what was said means something to you. These things foster emotional trust and the sense that you are seen and understood, which are crucial elements of emotional intimacy and romantic attraction.
9. Don’t Overshare
You’ll want to avoid oversharing as well. It’s normal to want to reveal personal details, but do it with care and without overloading. You don’t want to trauma dump on people, but open up slightly as to invite a connection without overwhelming them. Building curiosity and trust bit by bit is far more effective than forcing it.
10. Turn Negatives Into Positives
Likable people are the kind who take their worst moments and make them positive. For example, instead of complaining about your day, you should note how you’re happy to turn it around with great company. This positivity boosts the mood of all the people around you, and they’ll be eager to hang out again to chase those feelings.
11. Laugh At Yourself
Likable people are seldom super serious. Instead, they’re the kind to laugh at themselves and chuckle when they trip over their own feet. This humbleness gives them a softness that people find attractive and disarming, and it also makes them feel relatable.
12. Match Their Energy
You’ll also want to match the energy of those around you. It might seem counterintuitive as you want to bring up the people around you, but instead, you’ll have a better chance at being likable by mirroring others. So, if someone is a bit quiet, be a bit quiet with them. If they’re excited about something, bounce ideas off the wall with them.
13. Share When Asked
It can be a bit annoying when you’re having a conversation with someone and they just start monologuing, never letting you get a word in. Sure, it makes the other person feel better, but you’re probably a bit bored. To make sure you don’t talk about yourself unless asked, you should quite literally wait until you are asked. Likable people don’t need to validate their self-worth through others, and their mysteriousness will actually encourage others to want to ask and learn about them.
14. React
When you’re having a conversation with someone, or when they are giving you a long monologue, you want to listen to them with your whole body. This means, instead of just looking at them, nod along too and confirm their thoughts audibly. Also react with your expression, smiling at the highlights and showing concern at the downsides. Active listening is a rare thing these days, which will make people want to be around you even more.
15. Let Them Shine
People don’t fall in love with you because you’re always hogging the attention, they fall in love with you because you let them shine instead. Make space for celebrating the other person, and shine the spotlight on them whenever you can. Congratulate them on their big wins, and praise them generously.
16. Keep Calm
Everyone loves that calm and collected energy, and it can be quite attractive. So you want to ensure you’re regulating your emotions and never freaking out over things. Let moments breathe and remain that steady soul people can rely on when things get tense.
17. Don’t Pretend
If a lot of traits on this list are things you don’t inherently have, then of course you’ll want to work on yourself to incorporate them. But becoming likable isn’t about pretending. You actually want to become calm, you want to listen to people, and you want to remember their stories, not just pretend to want to.
18. Make Time
While distance makes the heart grow fonder, so does spending time with them. Don’t overwhelm the person, but try to make time, whether that’s once a week or a check-in every day. See what the person needs and wants, and be there for casual coffee, shared yoga classes, or even surprise takeout dinner dates.
19. Ask Them Questions
You don’t want the person to feel like you’re interrogating them, so be sure to use other points on the list, like matching their energy, and creating calmness first. But if there is an opportunity for it, ask the other person about themselves, as they’ll love talking about their favorite topic after all. Ask them how their day was, what they think about recent news, or even what they had for lunch.
20. Genuine Compliments
When it comes to giving compliments, it’s important to be authentic and considerate. People can tell that compliments are fake or ill-motivated. But if you’re thoughtful about them, and praise things they really want praised, they’ll appreciate it more.
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