Subtle Tricks People Use To Twist The Truth
Manipulation rarely looks like someone twirling a mustache and chuckling to themselves. It’s far quieter than that, more insidious. Sometimes it’s a friend who insists they’re “just joking” after a cutting remark. Sometimes it’s a boss who asks personal details about you one moment, then wields it against you the next. The methods vary, but the result is the same—your sense of reality gets bent just enough that you start doubting yourself. Recognizing these tactics doesn’t make us paranoid—it makes us prepared. Here are twenty manipulation techniques to be vigilant about.
1. Gaslighting
This one’s a classic. They deny what happened, twist your words, or insist you’re remembering wrong. Or worse, they acknowledge the truth but make you feel like you’re misinterpreting it. Over time, you start doubting your own memory. A simple example: you bring up a hurtful comment, and they look at you blankly—“That never happened.”
2. Love Bombing
At first, it feels like a fairytale romance with their constant messages, lavish gifts, and declarations that the pair of you are soulmates. Then, once you’re hooked on the attention, the affection abruptly disappears, and you’re left chasing the high and wondering what you did that made things change between you.
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3. Silent Treatment
This type of silence isn’t just cooling off after a fight, but deliberate stonewalling. They ignore your presence and starve you of attention until you cave. There’s nothing quite as disorienting as being treated like you’re invisible for days on end by someone you care about.
4. Triangulation
Instead of talking to you directly about their grievance, they pull in a third person, even if that person isn’t in the room. “Well, even Sarah agrees with me.” Suddenly you’re outnumbered and on the defensive. It makes you feel ganged up on, even if Sarah never said anything of the sort.
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5. Playing the Victim
People who adopt this strategy present themselves as the victim in every circumstance—even ones they orchestrated. You’re upset about that hurtful comment, but five minutes later you’re apologizing to them for “instigating” them. They twist every situation into a sleight against them, and you’re left holding guilt that doesn’t belong to you.
6. Future Faking
These people are quick to announce big promises, professing things like, “We’ll move in together next year,” or, “When I get that job, everything will change.” Except that golden future never comes, and you’re left living in the shadow of unrealized expectations. Their promises are a carrot dangled just far enough in front that you allow yourself to be strung along.
7. Overwhelming With Details
They bury you in so much information—dates, statistics, half-remembered stories—that you can’t keep everything straight in your memory. It’s a tactic often used in arguments: flood the conversation until you can’t argue back, then declare victory in the face of your confusion.
8. Shaming
Whether they’re accusing you of being too sensitive or claiming that you are overreacting, this strategy ultimately hinges on undermining your feelings. Eventually, you begin to doubt the sincerity of your own emotions. It can be as subtle as an eye-roll or as sharp as outright ridicule.
9. Guilt Tripping
It starts with a heavy sigh, then a remark like, “I guess I’ll do it since nobody else cares.” Suddenly you’re rushing to assure them that everything is okay, not because you meant to offend them, but because you’re overcome with a sense of misplaced guilt like a wet blanket over your shoulders.
10. Moving the Goalposts
You meet their demand, and then they change the rules. You work late to prove dedication, submit that important report, yet they claim you’ve failed because you didn’t network enough in the process. Success never counts, because they keep shifting what success even means.
11. Excessive Flattery
Compliments feel good, but when someone heaps them on too thick—especially right before asking for something—it’s not kindness, it’s strategy. They’re trying to butter you up so that saying no to their request feels insensitive, or worse, like you’re undermining the compliment they just finished paying you.
12. Fearmongering
Some people exaggerate risks so you feel you need their protection or advice. They tell you that you wouldn’t survive out there without them, or that everyone else has a negative opinion of you and they’re the only one defending you. Fear narrows choices until it seems like their way is the only safe option.
13. Projection
They accuse you of the very thing they’re doing, whether that’s cheating, lying, or being manipulative. Before you know it, you’re too busy denying their accusation to notice they’ve confessed without confessing.
14. Intermittent Reinforcement
They’re hot, then they’re cold. Sometimes they greet you with affection, sometimes with coldness. The inconsistency keeps you hooked, hoping the next spin will bring warmth again. Casinos figured this out ages ago, but people do it too.
15. Intimidation
This doesn't always involve shouting. Sometimes it’s standing too close, slamming a door, or a subtle threat tucked inside a smile. The message is clear: don’t push me. It works because fear, even unspoken, is powerful.
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16. Minimizing Achievements
You share good news, and they shrug. Or they quickly one-up you. It drains joy from moments that should feel bright. After a while, you stop sharing, which is exactly the point.
17. Information Withholding
They know something and deliberately keep it from you. Could be as small as leaving out a detail, or as big as hiding financial decisions. Either way, power grows in the gaps where you’re left in the dark.
18. Faux Concern
They say, “Oh, I’m just worried about you” in a tone that cuts instead of comforts. The concern isn’t genuine—it’s a disguise for criticism, a way to make judgment look like care.
19. Love Withdrawal
They dangle their affection like a prize. A hug, a smile, a kiss is withheld until you behave the way they want. It trains you to equate love with obedience, which is dangerous territory.
20. The “Joke” That Isn’t a Joke
They say something cruel, then grin—“Relax, I was only kidding.” The sting lingers, but if you protest, you’re accused of lacking humor. It’s a neat trick: insult delivered, responsibility dodged.
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