They Say Opposites Attract…
It’s not always easy for an introvert to love an extrovert, but there’s a reason opposites attract! Clashing personalities can be a tough hurdle to overcome, which is why we’ve broken down a few common examples—and a few ways you can still make it work with your partner.
1. Planning vs. Spontaneity
Everyone loves a planner, but planners don’t always love spontaneity—and this classic head-to-head can cause all sorts of problems. Go-with-the-flow personalities can stress out anyone more by the book.
2. Introversion vs. Extroversion
Some people like time to themselves. Others prefer the company of loved ones. While these personalities can peacefully coexist, they can also butt heads with each other. After all, it’s hard to coax an introvert out of their blanket fort!
3. Confrontational vs. Non-Confrontational
Many avoid conflict like the plague, but some people aren’t shy about causing trouble. Confrontational people are a big enough handful already, but they can prove extra challenging for those ill-equipped to deal with their outspoken nature.
4. Stoic vs. Emotional
Does every Pixar movie make you cry…or are you Chandler Bing? These personalities don’t always face the same struggles as other clashing types, but they’re definitely polar opposites; some partners may have a hard time being vulnerable in front of someone persistently stoic.
5. Neat vs. Messy
As you can imagine, neat freaks aren’t a huge fan of pigsties. Neat partners can easily feel resentment toward their significant other as well—it’s hard to stay cheery when you clean the house and no one else makes the same effort.
6. Engaged vs. Aloof
Relationships won’t work unless everyone’s on board. For example, it’s hard when one person thinks about the future and the other remains aloof about what comes next. It’s easy to feel resentful, betrayed, or like the other person isn’t committed, even if they are.
7. Communicative vs. Evasive
Communication is one of the most important elements of a successful relationship. It’s one thing to cool off after a fight, but it’s another to avoid conflict altogether or never speak openly. Partners who can’t talk to each other won’t stay together.
8. Strict vs. Rebellious
Carefree spirits aren’t concerned with the “rules,” and that attitude clashes with people who like order. Whether it’s resistance to authority or a need for self-expression, rebellious types might rub conformists the wrong way.
9. Caring vs. Inconsiderate
We’ve all been inconsiderate before, but some people can make it a pattern of behavior. Caring, empathetic souls likely won’t enjoy someone who can’t meet them halfway.
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10. Traditional vs. Progressive
Do you want to start a family or do you want to travel the world? Would you rather your husband provide or that you both have jobs? While there’s a place for traditional concepts, they don’t always fit within progressive mindsets.
Now that we know about common personality clashes, let’s explore a few ways to make it through those obstacles.
1. Strong Communication
As mentioned, couples won’t get anywhere without strong communication. If you find that you can’t talk to your partner, it’s worth raising that concern to build a path forward. Even if you agree to disagree, those hard talks are part of a real relationship.
2. Active Listening
Of course, strong communication isn’t just about talking. A huge part of good communication is actually the listening. Hear what your partner has to say, ask follow-up questions, and make sure you don’t interrupt them. That way, no wires are crossed and you each respect each other.
3. Compromise With Each Other
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is settle on a compromise. This is why open communication is so important—you get a sense of each other’s boundaries, understand each other’s concerns, and can reach a proper middle ground together.
4. Agree to Disagree
On the other hand, not everything ends with proper resolution. From strong opinions to heated debates, many couples agree to disagree, which is a good way to sidestep unnecessary conflict. It's even better for arbitrary tiffs so you can just move on without resentment.
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5. Set Boundaries
Everyone is well within their rights to set boundaries, even with their partners. A good partner understands those boundaries and won’t test the waters. Boundaries, active listening, and strong communication put you on the fast track to a long-lasting relationship.
6. Take Necessary Breaks
No one said you have to duke it out all night. Heated arguments call for a break, so take them as needed; the last thing you want is to say something you can’t take back or make rash decisions.
7. Healthy Challenges
Relationships are all about challenging each other in healthy ways. If an introverted partner hates large gatherings, speak with them about smaller milestones (a movie night double date, a dinner party with close friends). Stepping out of your comfort zone can encourage new experiences!
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
8. Acknowledge Each Other’s Differences
It’s one thing to challenge your partner in a supportive environment—it’s another to expect a complete overhaul of their personality. For relationships to work, both partners need to accept the differences and learn the best ways to coexist.
9. Change the Narrative
It’s easy to fall for the “opposites attract” trope. However, it might behoove you to reshape the narrative a little. Instead of calling them your opposite, consider your partner someone who complements your personality traits or helps you see the world differently.
10. Seek a Professional
Relationships could always use a helping hand. Professional counseling can help you through healthy boundaries, safe exploration, and encourage you to move forward together. It can also help you discover whether you're truly compatible with each other.
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