Make That Difficult Time a Little Easier
From devastating breakups to sudden deaths, grief rears its head in all kinds of ways. It’s not always easy to know how to support someone, but we have a few ways you can lighten the load. Let’s explore twenty simple ways to help someone going through a difficult time.
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1. Just Be There For Them
Grief looks different for everyone, so it’s important to just be there for people. It’s hard to know what will help them the most, so simply showing up lets them tell you what they need or alerts you to what could help them.
2. Ask Them What They Need
Of course, it’s not always easy to ask for help, especially in the throes of grief. Gently ask them what would help. Maybe it’s doing the dishes. It could be cooking dinner. However it looks, offering support is one of the best ways to support someone.
3. Be Mindful of Comparisons
In moments of grief, people can inadvertently say insensitive things. Though it seems like a good idea to compare your situation to theirs, it’s not always the best move. Unless the comparison is very similar, it’s safer to just listen.
4. Listen to Them
Speaking of which, it’s always helpful to listen. It’s okay if you don’t know what to say—sometimes, it’s more important to sit down with a loved one and let them express grief without adding sweeping statements or generic “advice.”
5. Don’t Wait to be Asked
Depending on how close you are with the person, you don’t always need to wait for permission. Bring food over. Do a load of laundry. Help them with paperwork. During life’s hardest moments, it’s tough to tackle mundane tasks, so you’d be doing a huge favor.
6. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Grief manifests itself in many ways, which means different emotions bubbling to the surface. Instead of cutting in with advice, remind your loved ones that you won’t judge them and they’re in a safe space to express themselves.
7. Avoid Saying “I Know How You Feel”
You may know what someone is going through, but you’ll never understand it fully. It seems comforting to say something supportive like, “I know what you’re going through,” but it could come off the wrong way. Stick to listening instead.
8. Lean on Your Love Language
Not everyone’s love language is the same, so don’t be afraid to lean on what makes you comfortable. If you’re not the best with words, try a kind-hearted sympathy card. If you aren’t one for physical touch, bring some food or buy a bouquet of flowers.
9. Expect Complicated Feelings
Prepare for some complicated feelings. Sometimes grief looks like anger. Other times, it doesn’t come out for a few days. There’s no one way to grieve, just like there’s no one way to support someone. The best you can do is acknowledge difficult emotions.
10. Pick Up Some Food
We’ve talked a lot about making dinner or preparing meals for a loved one. However, others often have that idea too, which means people could easily get bombarded with casseroles. Uber Eats gift cards give loved ones the flexibility to eat what they want, when they want.
11. Avoid Faith if They Don’t Share It
It may be comforting for you to hear that someone said a prayer or Heaven gained another angel—but not everyone shares the same faith. Your heart’s in the right place, but it’s likely not the best time to lean on faith, especially when someone doesn’t believe what you do.
12. Steer Clear of Sweeping Statements
We’ve all heard statements like, “It’ll get easier,” or “They were such a great person,” but sweeping statements sometimes do more harm than good. Pay attention to your loved one and focus on what they’re most comfortable with. 
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13. Include Them in Activities
Death turns life upside down, often interfering with our schedules. Don’t forget to include loved ones in your activities to get them out of the house and help them establish a new routine. Life will certainly look different, but you can help them build around their grief.
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14. Offer Practical Help
What does your loved one need most right now? Is the laundry piling up? Could they do with a babysitter? Do they need help planning the funeral? Keep an eye out for practical solutions you can offer that take the load off.
15. Understand Answers Won’t Come Right Away
Grieving loved ones don’t always reply to messages right away. That’s okay. Be patient and understand that they’re going through a lot. Don’t take offense to long response times or assume you did anything wrong.
16. Don’t Forget About Them
That being said, keep them in your thoughts. Even if they don’t reply right away, reach out again a few days later to check in. You can give them space while simultaneously letting them know that you’re there for them.
17. Remember Important Dates
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Remember the important dates like birthdays or anniversaries, and prepare to reach out for additional support. It might seem small, but that acknowledgement lets people know you haven’t forgotten about them.
18. Personal Messages in Sympathy Cards
Sometimes it’s easier to write our thoughts than speak them aloud. Sympathy cards let you get those feelings out without fumbling. Even if they don’t read it or respond right away, rest assured, they’ll appreciate the gesture.
19. Occupy the Children
Kids go through a hard time too, even if they don’t understand. Find something to occupy a loved one’s children—puzzles, games, or just talking to them takes the pressure off their parent and can help in a big way.
20. Watch for Warning Signs
There’s a difference between grief and depression warning signs. Look for any red flags and gently encourage your loved one to seek help. It won’t be an easy conversation, but it could be an important one.
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