10 Telltale Signs of Love Bombing & 10 Ways to Know If It's Genuine Affection
When It’s Too Good to Be True
Ever met someone you thought seemed perfect, only to feel like things were moving too fast, too soon? You weren't just imagining it—you were being love-bombed. Love-bombing is a type of emotional manipulative tactic where a person showers another with affection and attention to convince them that they're the most important person in their life. Wondering if you've ever been love-bombed? Here are 10 telltale signs to watch out for—and 10 ways to know it's genuine affection.
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1. Showers You with Gifts
If you've just met someone and they're already showering you with gifts, that's a clear sign they're probably love-bombing. These gifts might be overly excessive or expensive, and this action is often done to make you feel like you owe them something in return.
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2. Texts Excessively
A love-bomber will text you constantly and get upset when you don't reply to them right away. They may spam you until you do respond, or make you feel bad for "ignoring" their messages. They might also bombard you with phone calls.
3. Paces Too Fast
When the pace feels like it's moving too fast, that's usually a clear indicator that you're being love-bombed. A healthy, budding relationship should move gradually and comfortably, not making you feel like you're a week from being proposed to after two official dates and knowing each other for a month.
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4. Future Fakes
Future faking is a type of manipulation tactic that a person uses to exaggerate a shared future. They may talk about traveling together, buying a car together, moving in together, or even bring up the topic of starting a family. Without enough time to get to know this person thoroughly first, you can never tell if their words are genuine and have any intention of following through.
5. Over-the-Top Compliments
Receiving compliments is great, but when they're over-the-top and constant, you might start to feel wary. Are these praises even genuine, or are they generic and could've been said to anyone else? If it feels too intense too soon, it's probably not good news.
6. Wants Undivided Attention
A love-bomber doesn't just want your attention all the time—they want you to only focus on them. They don't like it when you spend time with other friends or have other commitments, and will make you feel guilty for doing so.
7. Throws the "Soulmate" Card
If someone you just met told you they think you were fated to be together, you'd probably think they were crazy and walk away. But that's just the kind of thing love-bombers say, too; they'll throw the soulmate card on you to convince you that you and them were "meant to be," even though you don't know each other enough yet.
8. Pushes for Immediate Commitment
Instead of taking things slow, love-bombers push for immediate commitment. They want to be exclusive after only a few dates, even before you've had a chance to define the relationship or decide whether or not you want to keep seeing them.
9. Ignores Boundaries
When you try to set boundaries or say "no," a love-bomber gets upset. They might try to guilt-trip you for drawing lines or putting up barriers, or worse, they might completely ignore them. After all, they don't want anything to get in their way or come between your "love."
10. It Feels Too Perfect
How do you know if you're being love-bombed? If everything feels too perfect. It hasn't been too long since you met this person, and somehow, everything already seems to be "falling into place." Don't fall for the illusion. If something feels too good to be true, it probably is.
How, then, can you know if someone's actions and affection are genuine? Here are 10 signs to look out for:
1. Feelings Build Gradually
Feelings don't happen overnight. If you've ever fallen in love with someone at first sight, it likely wasn't love at all—just lust and surface attraction. Most healthy relationships take time to develop, and, like Rome, aren't built in a day. A potential partner will let things move naturally instead of forcing them to happen.
2. Respects Boundaries
Whereas a love-bomber will get upset when you set boundaries, a respectful potential partner will give you space and put your comfort first, and if you say "no," they won't push. That's the kind of understanding you want your partner to have, not someone who'll guilt-trip you.
3. Shares Genuine Common Interests
Love bombers might tell you that they like everything you like, even when it's obvious it isn't true. When you do have shared commonalities with a potential partner, however, your conversations flow much more naturally and feel genuine. It's even fun to talk about passions you don't have in common.
4. Texting Is Consistent—Not Over the Top
Instead of constant, excessive communication, texting should feel consistent and comfortable with the right person. You'll find yourself wanting to message or hear from them, rather than dread it or feel like it's a chore. Your conversations aren't stilted or one-sided, either, but interesting, layered, and enjoyable.
5. No Rush for Exclusivity
Again, the right one won't force you to define the relationship when you're not ready yet, and will know how to read a room. If you've been dating steadily for a month or so and the attraction has only continued to build, you may want to bring up exclusivity—but unlike with love-bombers, this process happens naturally.
6. Befriends Your Friends
Love-bombers would likely try to keep you to themselves, thwarting your attempts to catch up with your friends. But a respectful partner will want to learn more about you, and that includes your inner circle. Once your relationship has progressed to a point, you might feel comfortable letting them meet your friends and family.
7. Gives Genuine Compliments
Instead of generic compliments like, "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met" or "Your eyes remind me of glittering stars," someone who genuinely understands you and likes you for who you are will tell you as much, without it being over the top. For example, they might praise something specific, like, "You're great at making people feel comfortable on the first date."
8. Emotionally Available
A great potential partner is emotionally available, too, which makes it easier for you to open up to them and feel comfortable enough to share your insecurities or vulnerabilities. They're mature, understand how to process their own emotions, and can help you parse through yours as well.
9. Great at Listening
The right potential partner isn't just there to talk excessively about themselves—they're there to hear you share about yourself, too. They ask you genuine questions (and follow-up ones), so that the conversations you have aren't just one-sided.
10. Prioritizes Your Comfort
You know it's genuine when the person you're dating prioritizes your comfort. If you don't feel ready to progress your relationship and would rather keep it casual first, they'll respect it and won't push their luck. When you're around them, you feel safe.
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